Success

What does success mean to you? Do you give yourself permission to redefine what it means as time goes on? That permission to redefine part is really important to me.

Let’s say you had a goal and you achieved it or you didn’t. Six months later, you realize that you achieved everything that was important to you and have shifted. Things shift. Some people get so wedded to what they wanted, then do all the things they were supposed to do, get there and all of a sudden realize that thing doesn’t really cut it for them any more.

When that happens, you’re in a quandary. You think “I worked really hard at this.” So do you give yourself permission to recognize new values that are surfacing for you? Or they may be values you always had but you suppressed them.

For instance, as a parent, a lot of women with children feel societal conditioning to put “family first” (I’m not saying that’s always wrong) but then they end up living the role of a martyr and become miserable. Then they feel like the floor’s been pulled out from under them if their hubby takes off after decades because they sacrificed a lot to put “family first” and they feel like they got used.

For men, the typical way it happens is in the corporate world where they work hard for years, achieve a high level of success and are then let go for someone with less experience who costs a lot less.

So do you give yourself permission to live your real success values? Or even to explore what those might be? You may have chased a dream so long and now realize that dream isn’t what you want to reach for any more. And btw, If everything is the same in your vision of success in your 20s and your 50s, you likely haven’t grown.

The real key to personal and professional success is customizing your understanding of what success is to fit your specific needs and a deeper level of your values. It’s worth going inside yourself to find.

Where Do You Start?

Let’s talk about what are some of the ways you’ve been most successful in your life? (You’ll find more about this in my Inside Out Technique summary. Click here to read it.) Let’s look at the structure of how you created that success.

You can apply Tony Robbins or whoever you want — the chances that you’ll be as successful as that person or even half as successful, is unlikely because they figured out what fits their personality.

You’re not a loser because you can’t implement someone else’s strategy as well as they can. You’ve learned a lot; maybe you just need some tweaks for things to properly fall into place.

Your Personal Success Formula

Start looking at where you were successful before. There are a lot of clues in those experiences that we can pull out and use to create your own, personally-tailored success plan.

As you get more and more aware of how you were successful in life, take those recipes and apply them to other areas — you just stacked the deck in your favor.

Your unconscious values are more important than your conscious ones. Once you realize at a deep level what your values are, then let’s look at your calendar; how often are you living those values?

Usually what reveals itself is a values conflict. You want to get promoted but also want to be home for your family and kids. You want to drive your career and be a CEO but also be home for your significant other.

Once you know your values and look deeper into the conflicts — we’ll work to align your values fully and eliminate the conflicts so that you can live and act from your values. Can you imagine how much more successful you’re going to be in your life?

Not having your inner and outer values aligned has nothing to do with being lazy. If your values don’t get aligned, you’re leaving a lot on the table for your satisfaction and success. You’re creating a recipe for burnout and it might be impacting your physical, spiritual, emotional, mental health too.